Guilty!

Guilty!

My heart crushed when my agent talked to me about her husband having an affair with another woman! Whoa! With another man would have been worse and I wouldn’t know what words to say to her.

I was about to discuss her scores for last week when she burst to tears. And not just teary eyed but she cried like a river. And sobs almost like a lion roar. I panicked because I didn’t know what to say.

Just like a lightning, it hit me… I recalled some lines from popular authors like John Maxwell, Paulo Coehlo, Stephen Covey and the likes… I was surprised of myself to say those lines. And I even advised her to pray… wait a minute… when was the last time I prayed? But on a serious tone, I said it sincerely.

I’m-a-team-lead-slash-guidance-counselor. So I set aside her stats, anyway, she is fairly performing except for her Average Handle Time (AHT). Perhaps that’s what’s driving her AHT to sore, her personal concerns. Who says the role of a team lead is easy?

Way back when I was an agent, I had thought if I could handle that role. I believe in order to be successful as team lead the approach should be holistic. Your scores will not describe you. I learned that from my philosophy teacher… See I’m a nerd!

Guilty!

Observing her crying like baby in my station, I was holding back my emotion. It must be really painful. Has the other woman realize this? Once a perfect family and now its broken because of her. and the kids?

Guilty!

When I arrived home, I was sobbing. I’m guilty! I was sorry! I must have torn and crushed my friend’s heart badly when he found out that I was the other person!

in my own world

A Pisces can be dreamy. oh I dream a lot even when I'm wide awake. That's me, I'm the fish. We are described as imaginative. I can create from nothing into a big world. That's my fantasy world. Sometimes, while riding a bus, long distance travel, mostly coastal route I would think that I live in this big castle. It is situated in an island far from the city of course. It always interests me the view of the ocean. Feels like I just belong there. It's calling my name, as loud yet as calming as the tide drifts to the sand. Somewhere in the middle of the ocean, its welcoming me.

Yes I have a horse, a white one. I can imagine galloping in a long stretch of white sand. then take a plunge in the cold blue ocean. I would swim for hours. dive as if I have gills. flips like a dolphin. play with the old turquoise. i don't like pearls though. Jumps through the air and dive back... i could stay in the water for long.

sometime I could feel I can command the sea. Like water bending. water is my power! my imagination went overboard, i know... but this scene keeps playing and playing in this gray mass floating inside my head. this is beyond imaginary. this is mental illness! but somehow I feel comfort thinking that. Am I losing my screws and giving up the real world.

The real world seem to chaotic and harsh. They are mean and it bites. Inside my head there's ease and I'm liking i better. I think I'm getting crazy. but I want to stay there.

My love story. My knight and shining Armour. someone strong and who can save me. He intimidates me but someone he loves me. whom I could serve breakfast in bed with my own cooking freshly picked from my own garden. bathe him in a fountain. massage him with mint and rose oils. I love him for simply just being there!

I cant bear the real world. there's hatred. I'm taken for granted. rejected. pain. i think I'm losing it. I dont want to go back to the real world... In my world, I'm safe. In my world, I'm free. In my world i feel alive.

V-Day

This day, just like any ordinary days, shall pass too!