this is my 100th post. I thought this better be good... so I squeezed my brain on important things to right... but I could not just think of any... politics... social welfare.. work... nothing...
I realized everything i post here are all rants... negative vibes... that's why I like my page... somehow after writing it make me feel better....
This will be my last rant... I need to do it in writing... shows commitment... this time I'm serious about it...
I blame this to Ally McBeal... I just needed to think of something to blame it to... no that's not a good idea! bygones...
ok this story about unfinished business.... I wanna finish this... as in now... damn... dadadadadada... i'm bothered... I need to take a moment....
now i'm talking to myself... scary...
work has been pretty shitty... but I guess what wont kill you will only make you stronger... and I hope after today I will be stronger.... I'm like a an insecure rat who has been hiding in my own hole scared of the world!!! what am I talking about.... words flowing and I can bare catch my typing.... I was talking about work... work.. July ended well... my team passed QA.. that's good... be better than yesterday... that's what I always share to my team... I have so many words of wisdom... but I can't seem to apply it to my own self...
dadadadadada....
my weekend buddy is seeing someone now... so I guess... i will have more time alone... alone to think of strategies about work... work again... ok.. time to think about my new room... yeah my room... my very own flat is almost done... more time to shop for bed... mirror.. chairs... utensils... that's an achievement right...... I guess...
dadadadada
months from now I'l be 30... wow... took me sometime to think if i have to write my age here.. but yes I will be 30... there I wrote it again... fine lines are coming out... why a i scared of that number... have I lived my 20s right? am i done being 20 something plus.... can I extend it... my room... its over looking the city... I like it when I wake up in the evening i see the city lights... its cold... the word cold... it will be colder... cold rhymes with old... 30 and alone... these things are stressing me.....
dadadadada
so decided to go out today... birthday... happy birthday to her.... my friend's sister... when everyone else were drinking beer... I was with my cup of coffee... cant help it.. I feel sleepy even after 8 hours of sleep I still felt sleepy... watching ally mcbeal would have been better... wait.. I have not seen the Air Bender... but i dont watch movies alone... but i'm alone... no...
dadadadada
i was about to go home... after months of not partying... same crowd.. I thought... i saw at least 10 people i slept with... bygones!...
the moment i step out of the bar... feels like time slowed... breeze was bit chilly it hit my cheeks... then time stopped... I saw my "Billy"... all lights at him... still stunning... i froze.. cold as ice.... I could not even move my muscle to make a smile... damned it... it has been a long time and why??? i started acting like Ally.... where will it lead me...
i'm normally shy with videos... but my life seems like i'm in a reality tv... all cameras are rolling.. following me... all lead role's friends are happy... the star always end up sad and alone.... alone that word.. how many time i have said that here....
this will be the last... i feel better now... this page never fail me... there my last rant!
Ok! Call me when you're done. I'll toast to that with a bottle of beer while you feel old with your coffee. hehe..
ReplyDeleteEven when you are ranting, you make a lot of sense. Cheers to our ranting skills. Hey, I feel as bad as you do because 30 is also looming over me and it's getting closer and closer. Argh. Okay, I will go back to my own blog and rant there. Kthnxbye.
ReplyDelete