Sunday, March 28, 2010

Stress Alert

Dear Diary,

I just woke up from a 16-hour of sleep. my best friend rang to ask if i'm out. yeah great! from the sound of my voice, I still felt sleepy. I tried to stand up, put on my sleepers, walked to the nearest switch. I felt dizzy. I asked, what day is it. Felt like Ive been asleep for years. Sunday just passed while am deep asleep. I missed breakfast, lunch and dinner. I felt hungry. I asked my best friend, now that you have awaken the dragon, you have to fed me. Went outside to check if there are eateries open. I only found tempura. Naaahh sleeping beauty isn't my favorite Disney princess. Yeah I'm waiting for my prince but that's another story.

if I were to measure my stress, its raging Red. All the sleepless weekdays. Deadlines to meet. People to manage. Training to attend. failed action plans. Metric that have not passed. On top of that, cat fights at work, zero love life, I cant borrow my own car from my brother! ( its my car and my brother is using it), loans, my-not-so-finished-yet flat. my knee cap hurting. My hips swelling... my sex drive is low to zero. my sperm count has dropped (geez..) i'm even taking supplements now...If I can just stop time for few hours.

Sleeping is my remedy. At least for good 16 hours, I was able to stop thinking about them. That fat, 16-hour, dreamless, sound sleep is what I need.

now its 11:03 pm and I'm wide awake... its time to scroll that phonebook and check someone to bug! let's roam the city and have sex!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

what a loser!

Dear Dairy,

I had a good laugh today from a loser office mate. yeah he is a loser! a fugly (fat and ugly) loser in fact! Why can't he mind his own business and stop being nosy!

Anyhow, remember that pork kebabs I made for our island hopping with the clients. my friend a fellow officer brought the left overs. He went to his boyfriend's beach party after our island cruise thingee... Suprisingly, this fellow officer whose face I truly disgust was there. He then grab a stick of pork tenderloin marinated in Mongolian sauce. Alright, that wasn't really Mongolian.. i just termed it mongolian... it was more of ala pobre style. well, he enjoyed every bite of it until the last piece.

loser: hey this is delicious, who cooked it?
friend: it's ron
loser: it's salty

what's funny because I did not put salt on it. The last person to use salt in his cooking is me. its health reason. some envious monster cant get his scripts right! darn wish I've seen his face! i could only imagne... he would still be fugly!

Monday, March 22, 2010

what a loser needs to know...

Dear Diary,

Today, I'm home alone again. Mom went to the province to take care some unpaid realty taxes. Dad's out with friends. My brother, well, he is with his fiancee. this has always been the set up in this house. either mom is at church, dad's supervising the newly constructed house. When I'm home, almost always I'm just in my room. I only go out to eat. Anyway I don't like the weather lately. Either I'm sleeping, reading, pushing the keyboards.

I searched for my phone to check some messages, none. I scrolled my phone list, no one answered the other line. Sent a message has not gotten any reply. I went to the kitchen to brew coffee, lit a cigarette, it was perfect breakfast. I promised myself not to think about work. I know i have a lot of deadlines to beat. But this is my free day.

while waiting for my friend's reply, went to the backdoor, pushed some buttons then water came out. poured some powder then it began to spin. 45 minutes, that's all it takes and my clothes be clean and dry again. while waiting for the laundry and my friends reply, I turned on the TV. its been a while since I touched that idiot box. naahh its boring.

suddenly, like a light bulb flashed above me. well, my friends were not replying. I'll have to face my fear... dine and watch movie alone... I have never done this. I should try... it should be that bad.. and it should be that hard. I went to a salon to have my hair fixed. I needed my toes done too.. off I go to the mall... first I bought some things that I needed... looked for a man's purse as my self birthday gift... then my best friend rang... "sorry I can't make it... I'm with J... but hey, don't forget to drop by the house, I have a birthday present to you" and I replied.. okay!

so I got myself some cologne, undies and a bag. the moment of truth... to face fear.. I can dare.. I rushed to the ticket booth to check some good films... my heart was pounding... I was about to stand in line, another flashed of light bulb hit me and asked me " What are you doing?"

I came into my senses, ditch the line and went to the closest Starbucks... its fine to have coffee alone.. that's my private moment... I like it peaceful with my coffee... sometimes I need to get away from the reality and I have a place in Starbucks...

I'm a year older now, and it happened so fast, giving up parties and having coffee instead.. that soon? seems like just yesterday... Anyway, i just don't see myself watching movie by myself or dining out... no offense but it's a pact that I respect and I promised to myself!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Dear Diary

The weather was nice today. A little rain and the sun is out. I don't fancy the sun, it just drain me till I'm dry. Ironically, our visitors from the States prayed for the sun to get their tan. How funny can it be, i tried to stay in the shade to keep my hue while they tried to find some rays to get some color!

So we went island hopping. I deserve some time out since office has been crazy. Crazier since I started with this new project. salty water gets into my locks (does that sound fun?) the water was a little rough in fact one of the officers got sick. While they enjoyed the view, the water and breeze, I was assigned in the kitchen. I love to cook... my favorite was shrimp kebabs. shrimp marinated in lemon and orange, sprinkled with chopped parsley, dash with salt and pepper, garlic and oregano to flavor. it had onions, bell pepper and zucchini. It was colorful. brushed with butter when it was ready to be served! there, I love doing that!

I like it the most when you see people react positively after the first bite. I know it was delicious! you can see in their faces that there's something about it that they haven't tasted... similar feeling when one gets an orgasm! When I was younger, I wanted really to be cook just like my mom. Well, influenced by Philippineism about graduating with a degree, very old school, my mom, so I took Engineering instead. Now, i just don't see myself working under the heat of the sun with my hard hat bringing rolls of blue prints and smells like I have not taken a bath for a week, sweat and dust and mud on your shoes. that's not me.

then suddenly I felt gloomy just like the weather. I missed someone that I used to cook for. Cooking seems meaningless when you have no one to share it to. The secret ingredient to sumptuous cooking is the love that you share to the person you cook for.

on our way home, i recalled lady gaga's bad romance. Screw him like the kebabs! I love lady gaga! its the new national anthem now!


sing with me!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Dear Diary,

I had a good one today.

I woke up late from partying last night. last night was fun. I was with some friends to celebrate my birthday. we had dinner then videoke. Originally we planned to go to Bantayan just like last year, unfortunately due to some events beyond our control, it was canceled the last minute. too bad I had my sun screen packed already ready for the summer. instead, we plan to go to Siquijor.

when i woke up, its lunch time. actually i was late for lunch.. I went straight to the kitchen to check what's cookin' coz i was starving and i heard my stomach complained. In the dining, mom had already prepared my lunch. she even labeled with my name on it and a little note. thanks mom for lunch.

received a message from a friend for a late afternoon starbucks. As always I had my cafe mocha... I like it bittersweet. after a brief chit chat went to see a movie, Remember Me. I've seen alice and I dont know what was the other one. anyways, I had nothing to do and anyway, my friend paid for the tickets. quite surprising how the movie ended. It was a good one.

I felt tired so i visited my massuer. had a 2-hour body massage. it was relaxing. I was just enjoying the moment. he's good looking. I like that and he knows my spots... that didn't sound right...

did I learn something today? small things can mean a lot. have you thanks someone today?

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Joyeux anniversaire !

it was dark..

and the silence was deafening..

suddenly, a light was drawn in the midnight sky.

then the glow started to fade.

landed in a deserted alley.

I rose.

I lost my wings.

I started to wander.

to gain the shimmer of my pale skin.

everything had changed when all i did was - to love.


that's how this blog started a year ago on my bday... Joyeux anniversaire !

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

morning rats.. I mean rants...

I'm whining again about my work. its not about work load because I'm not complaining about more than 8 hours overstaying without pay. and its not even about my agent's behavior because I know they are doing their best to achieve their goals.. they just need a little push to achieve the metrics.

what I'm ranting about is dealing with fellow supervisors wanting their ways when its too obvious their points are stupid! and sooo childish like making faces when being questioned about their not so intelligent idea. to the point of making you shut up when you try to give a point. being bitchy all over the place... why can't we not talk in a diplomatic manner? like professionals... I may be from the boondocks, but I'm from the south hills. Do I need to stress that part?!

work politics are adding to my grey hairs. and my mom noticed it. every morning when I came home all she hears are my complain. good thing she cooks sumptuous breakfast and then I'll be fine.

I had baked chicken breast today marinated in lemon sauce with spices i love, like thyme's and pepper. paired it with bagoong sauteed with tomatoes, onions and lots of garlic.

I know I should be grateful because I have achieved my dream last year.. but for what its worth? I'm guessing now that my plans of moving out to Manila before would have been a better idea...