Monday, March 22, 2010

what a loser needs to know...

Dear Diary,

Today, I'm home alone again. Mom went to the province to take care some unpaid realty taxes. Dad's out with friends. My brother, well, he is with his fiancee. this has always been the set up in this house. either mom is at church, dad's supervising the newly constructed house. When I'm home, almost always I'm just in my room. I only go out to eat. Anyway I don't like the weather lately. Either I'm sleeping, reading, pushing the keyboards.

I searched for my phone to check some messages, none. I scrolled my phone list, no one answered the other line. Sent a message has not gotten any reply. I went to the kitchen to brew coffee, lit a cigarette, it was perfect breakfast. I promised myself not to think about work. I know i have a lot of deadlines to beat. But this is my free day.

while waiting for my friend's reply, went to the backdoor, pushed some buttons then water came out. poured some powder then it began to spin. 45 minutes, that's all it takes and my clothes be clean and dry again. while waiting for the laundry and my friends reply, I turned on the TV. its been a while since I touched that idiot box. naahh its boring.

suddenly, like a light bulb flashed above me. well, my friends were not replying. I'll have to face my fear... dine and watch movie alone... I have never done this. I should try... it should be that bad.. and it should be that hard. I went to a salon to have my hair fixed. I needed my toes done too.. off I go to the mall... first I bought some things that I needed... looked for a man's purse as my self birthday gift... then my best friend rang... "sorry I can't make it... I'm with J... but hey, don't forget to drop by the house, I have a birthday present to you" and I replied.. okay!

so I got myself some cologne, undies and a bag. the moment of truth... to face fear.. I can dare.. I rushed to the ticket booth to check some good films... my heart was pounding... I was about to stand in line, another flashed of light bulb hit me and asked me " What are you doing?"

I came into my senses, ditch the line and went to the closest Starbucks... its fine to have coffee alone.. that's my private moment... I like it peaceful with my coffee... sometimes I need to get away from the reality and I have a place in Starbucks...

I'm a year older now, and it happened so fast, giving up parties and having coffee instead.. that soon? seems like just yesterday... Anyway, i just don't see myself watching movie by myself or dining out... no offense but it's a pact that I respect and I promised to myself!

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