Tuesday, December 29, 2009

All About Christmas Wishlist

I'm easy person to please... i wish nothing but the following:
1. I love Shoes... and I need another pair from PabDer. I like the cow leather, hand crafted, made in Italy, shoes. Don't blame me its my weaknes... hahahah (pa gurl talaga)










2. Influenced by my elder brothers and sisters... I too am a fan of scents...














3. Just the Cardigan... excluding the guy.... @ eye_spy.. I know layering is so over rated fo you as you described it in my other post... But I look good on it... so who cares.. hahahah bleh!




















4. Sunglasses... Can't live without one... especially on a bright day after a grave yard shift... Just for some protection for my very tired eyes... cK, Prada, Oakley and the likes will do...












5. My best friend insisted that I need a new phone; so bestie I'm including it in my wish list... nag paparinig lang...
But really, I'm no expensive person... Most of the times the things that I would really-really-really like just happened to be expensive... that's why I save for them and I'd be more than delighted to receive them as gifts! Gifts are meant to be expensive anyways....

Monday, December 28, 2009

New Year's Goal

New Year's resolution is sooo over rated... Let me set goals instead. Before that I'd like to revisit this year's goal.

My plan of moving out to Manila did not happen... I realized I'm not emotionally ready to be far from home. but I can always visit Manila anytime. yeah I remember Pussycat Doll's Manila Invasion.

Birthday Bash! goal achieved! We went to Bantayan Island for my Birthday. It was grand i think because i was broke after. that was very memorable, eye_spy got drunk and kiss a ___ and he likes it... hahahha (I still have the pic as evidence or for blackmail)

I created this blog this year. we have the same birth date.

September Singapore trip canceled. vacation leave application messed up.

November HongKong trip canceled. I got promoted! and I cannot file VL yet.

yes I got promoted that was my number 1 goal for this year. I worked hard for it. and I achieved it! congratulations!

----

So for next year;

First Quarter - I really need to go to the gym again... for a healthier me. and to prepare for the summer and my birthday. visit a friend in Manila. Perhaps Baguio again this Feb?

Second Quarter - housing project. I need to finish the 3rd floor of our house, where my room is located. it's overlooking with terrace. nice place for barbecue party of 10. what are some expenses to cut? expensive coffee, taxi fare and spa? promise!

Third Quarter - perhaps Universal Studios in Singapore...

Fourth Quarter - wala pang ma-isip...

Saturday, December 26, 2009

letter of complaint - Globe Telecom

Dear Mr. Co,

How was your holiday? I hope you spent it with your family. Mr. President, I have been a globe subscriber for almost 10 years now. Although I have changed numbers and I have the option to switch to a different provider, I still remain to be a subscriber of Globe because I believe in your company until my recent experiences with your Customer Care department.

I understand the service enhancements; these are to better serve us. However, my mobile number has been one of the unlucky few that, is always affected. Last November I called to report to them that I was not able to send a test message. I obediently followed their instructions yet was still unresolved. I was advised to monitor it within 24 hrs. That was quite long for me not to be able to send a sms but I obliged. The next day I called again because I still could not send a sms, even though system enhancement was done two hours after my first call. I asked to speak to a supervisor to have this concern resolved immediately. I was told to wait for 5 business days because this concern had to be sent to technical specialist for further investigation. Don’t you think 5 business days is quite too long not to send an sms?

I had my chance to switch providers but I chose to keep my number because I don’t want to go through the hassle informing my contacts of my new numbers. What about the forms I filled out? How will they be able to contact me if I change my number?

The Customer Service kept on saying that they understood my situation and that they were sorry for the inconvenience but they are not doing anything about it to have it resolved as soon as possible.

I work in a call center, and Customer’s satisfaction is our business! Several supervisors promised to call me to follow up yet I never received a call from them. It very frustrating! This happed to e twice back in November!

Today it happened to me again. Worse, this time I can not send a sms and I can’t call using my mobile phone. I called your Customer Service using our globe landline hoping, still hoping that this will be resolved immediately! Can you imagine unable to contact your friends, family and your clients? To my dismay, your customer care representative, JV hang up on me when I asked to talk to a supervisor. He is more worried of his Average Handling Time, than helping me.

It’s so sad to think, I have been giving excellent Customer Service to Americans to support their product. Yet I cannot get the same excellent Customer Service from a fellow Filipino for our local service. As big as a company, your Customer Service Department is not doing their job. They are not listening to us, customer! They simply hear us and read us back their scripts! They are too apologetic but they are not doing anything about it!

So I called again and spoke to Ms Clarence, one of the supervisors. I offered her a resolution instead of her offering me one! Not so intelligent, don’t you think Mr President? I told her that I will change my number, since unfortunately my number has always been affected by any enhancement. I’d rather send my contacts a new number rather than experience this situation again and calling Customer Service over and over. I asked her to transfer my balance to my new sim since I just reloaded 300 pesos. 300 pesos is not worth my time and effort writing to you and calling customer service to complain. It’s a matter of principle. Ms Clarence said that she has not the capability. Further told her that if she can’t do it then just load my new sim worth 300 as “compliment” or “compensation” although that is my money but she can tag it as it is.

She suggested changing my sim but I will retain the same number and the same balance. But wait, isn’t my number the problem and not my sim? How lame is her suggestion?

Mr President, I’m writing to let you know of my situation. Others may have experienced it as well. It’s more than the technical enhancement, its more of our experience calling your Customer Service. Something is not right and I know you can correct it before I change provider this time.

Thank you for your time reading this.

Sincerely,

Ron - 0927645****

Joyeux Noel

It's 4:00 AM, Dec 26, 2009. I woke up and realized I spent Christmas sleeping as in the whole day. As if that's something new. I spent Christmas eve in the office, while preparing food for my team and for the account, i can see colorful fireworks display from the window at a distant. It was a sign the midnight is just a few minutes away. i think Christmas are for kids only.

We dont celebrate Christmas at home anymore. its happened when most of us were grownups. So, it really doesn't matter if I'm in the office or I am at home. Although the good thing about in the office is I could spend it with my team. Most of them, it was their 1st Christmas away from their family. Two of my sisters left to Canada, our eldest got married and have his own house away from home. our youngest getting married next year decided to spend Christmas at his fiancee's home. So that would just be me and my mom because my father decided to visit our eldest (celebrating Christmas for his kids). How lonely could that get?! so i told my mom that I'l be working and she could visit our eldest too together with my father. It was only our house not lit for the event.

if Christmas is for kids then why am i feeling lonely. I shouldn't be feeling this way, right? I greeted my mom and dad. then bade goodbye. The moment I stepped in to the cab. the cab driver greeted me Merry Christmas with Christmas Carols in the radio... light-isplays playing lively as we passed by in every house. makes me sob. this is the kid inside me.

Really i have reasons to celebrate for the good things that happened this year... good health. friends, and enemies that made me stronger.

but something is missing... this season shall pass... and I will be alright just like last year!

Monday, December 21, 2009

The things that I don't get

1. People not minding their own business. Couples fight. understandable because of disagreement, miscommunication or worse you got caught cheating for example. to friends your help may not help at all. so leave them, anyway they will always come to you when they need a shoulder to cry on or a set of ears to listen to.

2. its called breakup because its broken. so why try mending it. get out of denial stage that you don't love him anymore. your actions show the opposite. so what was he doing in your room rummaging your fridge, or did i hear you right you cooked lunch while he was changing the dial of the tv with his new boyfriend on the other side?! Stop because you'll never win him back. and stop pretending that your ok because you're a wreck! tighten that screw in your head! your wearing off!

3. some people say they are not competitive... but for the last hour you were talking about how good you are! Sorry for your loss! boss-not!

4. people sa most good guys are taken. does that mean am bad?! I could always steal them if I want them.. tease!

5. sometimes friends dont make sense... its nicer to talk with a stranger.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

I like what I'm doing or maybe its because I'm in denial that my love life is just like COKE.... Zero!
Yes, work compensates how empty my L-life is. So far my team got good grades.
and I'm more eager to come to work on a Saturday night to maintain it or achieve more.
You know, analyze my team strengths and potentials. Work on their weakness and find ways to improve them.
Just basic stuff a team lead should do.

I've seen them improve and it feels great that you are part of that development.
Knowing that you have helped and its bearing fruits, the satisfaction and happiness
is beyond comparison, other than the fact that their scores are my scores too.

Perhaps, its the same feeling being loved. I cant really remember for it has been so long since the last time
my heart has pumped or was taken cared of. I just hid it in the dark chambers of my chest accented with cobwebs.
Locked with dungeon keys! that big cold rotten custom made iron keys. Take note Keys with an S.

Perhaps I'm more dynamic at work because there is a truth that I couldn't face. A harsh truth that I want to forget for the meantime.
Or, don't mind at least for the meantime. I exhaust myself on something just not to think about it. Somehow, sometimes I'm being reminded of it. Songs in the radio, two people happy together holding each other's hand. Even the simple display of Xmas lights makes me teary. during coffee and smoke break. when my brain stops thinking about my team stat just like today!

This is another cold Christmas. Oh well I've been dreaming of a white Christmas anyways... need to work now...

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

I'm craving for lamb chops!

I'm a lioness... the queen of the pride. Creatures bow down as I pass by. Some even dropped on their knees. Hail to the queen of Terabithia. or was that Narnia? whatever!


Its hunting season. and I crave for lamb chops, t-bone and venison. I drool the flavor of real meat. fine cuts and medium rare. it gives me an ecstasy. Hmmm... smells good... I like it husky smell! I bite. every inch of the tendered meat! I tear it with my teeth and play it with my tongue. its mouth watering...


but these days... i have been a sea creature eating lioness... I'm being fed with lobsters, prawns and sea critters. I don't like half baked food. but somehow they fill in my hunger.


would you go for a forest bear, whose blood according to Edward as the finest but is difficult to hunt or would you go for an easy catch like plankton but when too much is taken it hurts.


believe it or not i have a fair share of both... will it be according to class? can I ignore the food chain and try frogs instead hoping that someday it will take like turkey?

seriously.. all I'm really craving for is a Krispy Kremes... not so sweet... crunchy in the outside... soft in the insides. no promises but simply delicious... the hidden fillings that surprises you is a plus and is equally delicious.

its rare to find it here... so i will take every bite like its the last...

you are my krispy kremes and i'll be your starbucks...

wink ;p

Saturday, November 28, 2009

what a day!

I woke up early this afternoon... ok late afternoon... whatever… this afternoon… too early for my night shift... I grabbed my phone to check the messages. I only got one unread message. It was from Rey saying not to forget to eat before I go to work... It was sweet... but when you receive the same message everyday... its like a spoiled bacon... sour... anyway I'm not complaining… at least there's one person who cares... and that other guy?!! He is not worth a word in my blog hahah (taste of bitterness)...

I grabbed a bag of sandwich and orange juice to start my day... took a bath... dressed up... I always like dressing up even when you know people just wear shorts and slippers on a Friday night shift. Oh yeah we can wear rags during weekends… isn’t that grand?

Before coming to work, I went to pay a visit to my cousin. He’s father (my uncle) died last Friday and I never had the chance to visit them. Work wont let me… with all the trainings on top of my shift… My shift ended 12NN… training started 2pm and ended 10pm… my shift the next day started 12MN… and that happened for 2 days…. So sleeping was really not an option… I said my sorry to my cousin… and promised her that I will be there for the burial…

I excused myself and went to work… before coming up I always grab a cup of coffee and puff some sticks… wala lang para relax…

While doing my coaching sheets let me stress, 25 coaching sheets.. I’m on my 20th agent when I started to feel dizzy and my stomach turning upside down. Hyperacidity attack! Orange juice and coffee? Not a good combination… I went to the toilet to let it out…. Took Krimel – S to settle the pain… later after I had an ice cream....

Today was the last day for our certification… four of my agents went to the 3rd and final round. Two did not make it… I didn’t have a tough heart to tell them the bad news so I asked their trainer to break the bad news… it crushed my heart seeing them cry….

Looking back, I had done my best to coach them… pushed them harder… evaluated their weaknesses… gave them tips on how to cope. Discussed them their areas of opportunities… but I just didn’t see them trying hard…

Ironic though… how I wanted the other agent not to pass…. (eye_spy - why did you let her pass?) Now I have to bear with her for another four months before regularization… she better prove her ass or she’ll go down the drain!

Anyways, its a weekend.. I'm looking forward to watch a movie... it has been a while I realized.

What a day…

Monday, November 16, 2009

taken for granted

Sana ang relationship ay parang Math exam lang. I'm sure I will ace it. Mag review ka lang, practice nag pag solve. analyze konti... sure na perfect ka na sa mid-term exams. If may mali ok lang din 80% naman ang passing eh. Bawi ka na lang sa finals. A 1.3 final grade won't hurt.


I hope a relationship is just like applying for a job, turn in you resume and get interviewed. I'm sure I'll bag it. Discuss mo lang strengths mo. achievements. mention your weakness and things you have been doing to overcome it... Action Plan kung tawagin.


iba ang matters of the heart. mahirap. you always feel you are not good enough. try ko naman best ko. I spare time naman for him. but I'm just taken for granted. I tried to understand him... ayaw naman mag salita kung tatanungin ko if there's something wrong. I'm not mind reader kasi.

I have changed my perspective in a relationship. because the my ideal guy, yung nasa listahan mo like what you like in a person... yeah nakilala ko cya.. perfect talaga yun.. nag match lahat sa listahan ko.. all the charaters I had been lookng for ay nasa kanya... however, my ideal guy broke my heart. therefore nasabi ko sa sarili ko that my list is not perfect after all. Hindi naman ako nag hahanap ng perfect... naging tumpak lang talaga cya sa listahan ko... but I realized my ideal guy is not ideal for me after all.


so iniba ko listahan ko. iniba ko pananaw ko sa isang relationship. somehow, yung ma feel ko that I'm special.. that I'm needed. wala na yang looks sa number 1 spot.... (eye_spy ibaba ang kilay mo) bonus na lang cguro para sa akin...

after two weeks naming hindi nagkita because conflict ng schedule. nagkita kami sa famous mango ave... with his friends and me with my friends. medyo may kalabu-an ang aking paningin.. I have not upgraded my lens and I dont like glasses on me because I look snob already how much more with a glasses. So he grabbed me to get my attention. Hindi lang naman cya nagtanong how am I doing? nor nag send ng sms na lalabas cya.. we could have ccome together. hindi na man cya nag re-reply sa text ko lately...

kung sa work may action plan... when taking a test may review.. pero sa relationship? if its broken.. wala na... hindi mo ma work ang areas of opportunity if the other person is not willing to commit with the action plan. he went home without saying goodbye.. he just left me there...

I tried relationship differently but same lang ang outcome... sayang... nanghina pa naman tuhod ko sa kanya.. hhahahahahha malamig ang simoy nang hangin...


---

I'm not sure if my tagalog is correct and if i spell them right (when do you use yong or yung... kong or kung and the likes).. hahahahha next challenge dapat hindi na taglish...

Sunday, November 15, 2009

my promise

who said that life of a TL is fun.

I used to sleep at least 8 hours a day... now am lucky if i get at least 4 hours.

I used to enjoy my two rest days... I have to go back to the office on a Saturday night to finish a report

I used to care my own stat... now i have to check my team stat.

who needs a planner if your only an agent... My to do list for the next two weeks are now filled!

and more..



However somehow... it feels great... not to be above of everyone but someone to be there for my team. My TEAM.

it is the satisfaction you get for being THE team lead. of course aside from the $$$.

I lost 5 lbs even though I'm not watching what i eat... I normally loss weight if i deprive myself from eating pork and sugar...

am taking pills for extra strength so not to look stress. I only take pills when studying or reviewing... now i need it everyday to keep up.

clothes matter now. people look at you... although even before I always dress up to impress. hhahaha

25 different personalities. One ME. what's keeping me is my promise...

The promise that i will not become the team lead I used to have. (we are good friends... but your just not a good TL for me - not enough). I love my team. i will take care of them.

Behind all these difficulties... at the end of the day.... its satisfying... to know that you are loved by your team as well.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

it started with a dream

I said my last thank you for calling today. I was about to log out at 12pm when my call master rang. Good thing I have not closed my PC yet. It was a memorable call because it was the first thing I've learned in training.

I said my farewell to my account. I love this account.. for six years I've met true friends. who loves me, hates me, made me laugh and made me cry.


it all started with a dream. which I work so hard. even tripled my efforts for I'm not so lucky like others. I faltered. I cried. On the verge of quitting. had planned of moving out to Manila or help with family business. with all the challenges and difficulties, I told myself I have to rise... instead of mourning I converted it into an energy to keep me going (I am an engineer, we love physics). I've learned from my experiences, what went wrong.. evaluated myself and worked on what I lack (talking about tripling my efforts)...

then one day, my attention was called. I was scheduled for interview. my clothes we not appropriate for an interview, the manager did not mind. it went well, i'd hoped.

the following day... my manager asked me to visit her at her desk for a feedback... she was discussing the highlights of the interview and i was waiting for her to say the big BUT... I know I was being jaded. But when she said "Congratulations, you got the job"... I could not help myself to shout in glee. and tears began to fall and I was shaking... a sweet victory... its something that you really worked hard for...

then everyone stood up when they heard me... they clapped and i love the sound of it... i could still remember it... my friends were crying.. tears of joy for they know how hard I worked for it... they were also sad because I'm leaving the account.

Oct 23, 2009 was a great day. That was when I have achieved my dream. I'm newest Team Lead.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

no honey in my bed nor ice cream for sex...

I woke up early this morning feeling so hot... not the sex mood hotness... nor feverish type... my skin was flaming... they wear tearing... the outer skin felt numb but the insides flesh were burning. I'd scratch them to death.. it was very itchy every inch of my cells... I was catching my breath.. they were short...

an ant bite almost killed me.. i hate them.. good thing antihistamine was invented... I had allergic reactions... I thought it was the crab that ate for lunch yesterday... I found the culprit.. and it bit me on my right rib side... how dare this ant attack me while am sleeping.. its not fair..

Rule #1 - no eating in my room especially on my bed.. so no breakfast in bed for me... thanks being thoughtful honey but its a no-no for me... and skip the strawberry and creme for our sex... unless you volunteer to change the sheet before we sleep... no time right after tiresome of banging... maple syrup is inviting.. hey what about sugar free ice cream?.. OK.. this is not about sex...

how ironic because I had to roam the city to check for a pharmacy when we own one?! well, there's nobody home to open it... driving to the city would take about the same time opening our store... and the last time I had an ant attack was eons ago.. and I had not checked my pill box if i still have a supply.

dating

i dont know for some reason I feel irritable today coming to the office... but its not like its the first... hormonal imbalance? haha.. under sex? I just had one before coming to work...
Somehow my station is sooo hot... ironic the AC is not broken... and I feel hungry.. am looking for chocolate but can't find even just one bar...
I just found out my schedule for December and January... oh yeah... I have work on Dec 24 and Dec 31... for three years now... isn't that grand... Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to me and my bitchiest clients... excuse my french...
no champagne.. no family and no boyfriend... oh yeah am seeing someone now... more of dating stage and getting to know more of each other... but we had sex already... and its often... hahahah
and please I hope it will last for more than a week... it will be a record breaker... he knocks me off my feet ok... made me smile even am in the middle of something.. and sex is the best... rough and dirty... who's the best slut in town? My best friend says its him... oh isn't that one of the reasons why we are friends... cheers to that...
what I like about our sex is... he talks dirty... i never liked talking dirty during sex... .. but there's something on how he says it... shit! ang sarap... sounds like that... to add... mamatay ko bai.. kalami! okay enough of that I'm drooling thinking of it... sigh... I love sex... and its not even fiull moon... hahahha

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Full Moon

I cant help but appreciate the beauty of the moon. When I stare at it at its full state, I'm like mesmerize by its charm. Its glow widens my eyes in awe. not only that... it glows the lust inside me...

Every time i learn that its full moon and when i see it glow in the sky... I can feel a sudden rush of my blood... I feel like burning... I'm not at ease and my breathe is short... and the cool night breeze suddenly changes to warm. I can feel it in my cheeks... I bet i'm turning red... it feels like my muscles are tearing... my ears are are really hot... okay im not a werewolf. but somehow feels like I am...

there's a feeling to hunt... hunt for sex? to satisfy the thirst... coz it feels like i'm ready to explode...

just like today... my cravings were filled... but I'm not satisfied... he was done at first round... when I just felt the heat.. so disappointing when guys cant go up to rounds at least... I want some biting... some slapping... I want it in bed.. in the floor.. in the chair... I want it rough... some pushing... and pulling of hair... dont ask me if it hurts... it does but its a pleasure...

oh well.. until next full moon... i'm just writing it to make me calm... coz i'm off to work now... I cant feel this way...

Monday, September 28, 2009

I love

I love my best friend! He just came from Manila. I know his flight got canceled twice because of the bad weather. But still I admire his thoughtfulness.


When I learned that he got home late today. I didn't care how tired I was. I just got home from my class too and its already late. When I got his message, I hurriedly picked up my keys and went to his place which is about 15 minutes from my place. I know its late and I still have work early in the morning at 4am. But I went anyways...

I know I have been bugging him about it... and he constantly said no about my plea. But he surprised me and am so happy that it made me write about it...

it was all for a box of Krispy Kremes... I love Krispy Kremes... I wish we have it here in Cebu... but a box coming from Manila would make a difference... hahhaha

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Monday, September 21, 2009

change


I learned this in my management class that I'm taking. Although the curve was simplified to fit in a business setting. I got startled by the chart for a moment. It made me stare at it. Then I asked myself, where am I in this curve now?

where are you in this curve?

B.U.S.Y.

I like it when I'm busy..

Like super busy...

my weekly planner is filled out... in black and red inks..

an event to organize... assignments to be completed... projects due... exams to be taken.. books to be read...

work.. and school...

like sleeping is not an option...

coffee on the go... short lunch breaks

i like the rush... no dull moment... time is swift..

because.. when I'm busy... it makes me forget for a moment

how my love life sucks...

hahahah...

Sunday, August 23, 2009

my dream

my friends are living my dreams... Its mine I should be the star... But that's not what's happening. so i ought to find the path of my own... So what do i really like other than shopping and coffee...

I do love to travel. Seeing new places. Appreciate culture. know the history. and of course take pictures. and I mean lots of pictures. experience good food the place can offer... so I dreamed of becoming a flight attendant. unfortunately am 3 inches short than the height requirement. and I don't think a bottle of cherifer a day will help. so I give up on the thought anyhow I can travel in any other way.

when I was a kid I had always wanted to become a scientist. Science and mathematics had always been my favorite subjects. I don't like language subjects like English and Filipino. that's explains the grammar so no further questions please.. I cant live without spell checks too. So I thought of becoming a research assistant. continue my studies abroad at the same time travel. Perhaps I didn't plan my life well after graduation. because that was five years ago already and scholarship programs are out of my reach. well a good friend of mine back in college made it.. He is based in Amsterdam now. I think he has proven a theory or something like that. He has travelled Europe and the Americas. oh well my only consolation is he invited me to come to Europe. hope he'll ask me to be his research assistant. come to think of it I beat him back in college.

I know love stories are not tailored to perfection. but my best friends seems t be happy with his boyfriend. they been together for almost 4 years now. through thick an thin. now how come I can't have that kind of relationship?! it would be a better picture to be with someone when you travel right? Other than my friends, no one can tolerate me.. so I have accepted that.

life has many ways.. if you choose the wrong path then go to the other.. no reason to stop. don't blame. every experience is a lesson learned. makes us wiser. to be happy is to be content. But never run out of goals. it serves as true north. it gives direction.

so never give up. make things happen. although there are some who are lucky their path are being laid for them. but for some of us.. we have to double our efforts. too bad we can't have them all...

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

oh yeah?!

There was breaking in my room last Sunday dawn. I was deep asleep. Blame the weather. It was pouring heavily. Most of the stuffs that were taken were not mine. My brother lost his digi cam worth 30T php, his hp worth 20T php and his piggy bank that had 15T php. That was big money!

I always thought I was safe in this community and that I have good neighbors. oh yeah there are drug addicts.. but i know most of them... not that i jam with them or something.. we are blood related.. they are my cousins... not all of them though...

this one guy named Jason... I haven't seen him.. i never had the chance to see his face. believe it or not just got out from prison... scary neighborhood i know...

as usual the police came late.. he had flown away... by the way the reason why we knew it was him because we have witnesses. And unfortunately we were not the first case in the area. Too bad so sad we were not alarm before the incident could happened... like we have double locks.. A thief will always be a thief and will always finds way to break in.

It was really a nice Sunday morning for me. I had enough sleep which is rare lately until my brother told me the news that he lost some things...

too bad so sad right.. well.. what happened has happened... so i let it go...

I'm more excited though of the future...

My friend from Netherlands invited me to visit him. Its going to be a three-month vacation.. I'm really excited because its going to be the time of my life... enjoy life no one escape from it alive... we'll visit Brussels, Paris, Venice, Rome, Berlin maybe London and Copenhagen...

It's not going to be an all-expense paid trip... i have to do my share.. I have a year to save... he said I don't need Millions.. some grands will do...

so here are some saving tips:

- car pool instead of taxi... save 50% of fare daily..
- minimize expensive coffee... settle for instant coffee in the meantime... better yet get coffee from the pantry because it for free..
- pack lunch instead of buying... lunches prepared at home are more healthy anyway and its free
- minimize shopping to once a month rather than every pay day and buy only what's necessary.
- less spa visit.
- minimize weekend gimmicks instead read books and related literature for a case study that I'm doing.
- the goal is to keep 65% of my income... and budget the rest..

I'm open for suggestions...

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The five things I will do with my 30 million

1. Visit France. I must have a picture with the Eiffel Tower as my background.

2. Go north and ski. I like snow and make snow angels. (corny right)

3. Buy a ranch. I enjoy horseback riding.

4. Buy shoes.. lots of pairs of shoes in Italy and of course pasta.

5. Amanpulo... sun, sand and the beach..

Thursday, July 9, 2009

missing piece

Imagine a big puzzle board.

its 2' W x 3' L in size.

A friend gave it to you as a present.

It wasn't easy.

Somehow it was confusing.

But you were having fun trying to figure it out.

you love it.

it makes you smile.

It took you days to solve it.

Or almost...

beacuse you are missing a piece.

How would you feel?

Will you look for the missing piece?

or will you let it go..


he is almost perfect except that...

Monday, July 6, 2009

A Little Fall of Rain

You saying;

" 'I am here'

is all i need to know..."

-les miserables

Saturday, July 4, 2009

gold coins

life is a Farm Town.

You plow.

You plant.

You harvest.

along the way you earn gold coins.

then step up to the next level.

visit some friends.

make new friends.

---

this is the new craze I'm into. Although this too shall pass. I just want to make use of the time I have. Actually it has become addictive that it's taking most of my time now even my time to party. Which is a good thing for now as I promised July is no party month. so far so good.

Here are some gold coins I have learned from the company I am working now.

Tardiness

I had been always late even at a simple friends gimmick (its fashionably late they say). I had been late for school back in high school even though I just live next block to my school. I could hear when the morning ceremony starts. How much more in college when USC-TC was like an hour and half away. That had been my excuse.

Everything has change when I started working. I'm always on time and most of the time too early. I have learned to value the time of others. Time is gold.

Patience

I was hot tempered. Touch my things and you would see them flying. You would see it coming to you face. I hated standing in line. I hated waiting.

Working with impatient customers made me see myself and realize how ugly it is. Patience is a virtue.

Humility

I used to not know this word. I was always on top of the game. Bring it on. 'A runner up is the first loser!' I had always thought. I was competitive. I was like the best of the best. Don't blame me, I was raised to be an achiever! an A1 student. an outstanding graduate!

You don't have to be the best agent to bag the position you want. You don't even have to be the most intelligent to be successful. It tore my heart. I learned to be humble the hard way. "Do you wish people to think well of you? Don't speak well of yourself."-Blaise Pascal

and there are more gold coins to collect. I have decided I will stay... for now.

Monday, June 29, 2009

I've got some wierd P

My first weekend of no-night-out, no wasted-drinking, no guys-hooking and no pills. It started early as planned. This is it. Will I last for a month?

It was tough but I made it. There were lots of invitations I turned down. People were shocked. But guys you have to get used to it. It's just for a month. Its for a better cause. There are things I want to tame down. I guess its too much partying. I want to find something else I want to do other than that.

I told them my mom set a curfew, that is 10pm. Just like back in college. My friends know that my mom is super strict. They can't believe i oblige to it when this was the rule I always break before. To top that, I work at a night shift. Sometimes, I'm unbelievable but take it as it is. No further explanation.

And to J, sorry to break your heart last night. I know you wanted to see me. But you know what if you really wanted to be with me you could have come to my place and bring food. I told you I was hungry and that there were no food shop open near by, not even a bbq stall.

Anyhow, I got hooked with Facebook especially Farm Town. Its a good way to realize its not easy to earn money that you have to work hard to earn it.

But this entry isn't about that. My mind was toggling between Facebook and my glass of blue kamikaze. So I stop what I was doing and lit a cigarette and started to ponder;

- I'm an emotional buyer. When I feel blue I always head for a retail therapy. If there something I didn't achieve especially if I really really want it and I did not get it, expect you will see me wearing new shoes, shades, clothes, bag or bringing a gadget. So, if you want to be my friend, prepare your legs for mall strolling. When I'm inspired I love to treat my friends for food or coffee and I even cook for them.

- I'm good to my friends. I'm loyal most of the time. I even fight their wars. You can be bitchy but not on me. Try to lose my trust and I will drop you like a hot potato. Like as if we never met and I dont know your name. But most of the time I'm really patient. Just dont expect no revenge. Revenge is the sweetest word!

- For the record, i admit, I'm bratty. But all I want is for us to have fun. Its not just for me?! I'm mostly spontaneous. Come with me or cold war are the only options. Sweet talking is my forte especially to my brothers and sisters.

-I can be mean so beware. But I can be sweet too. You choose.

Play your cards right. and to J, I don't think you can handle me. So keep your distance before you fall because I have no plans of catching you. It was just a one night stand. Accept that. Peace.


PS

I may have a strong personality but in bed am a slave for you. Blind fold me, tie me and bite me. Am all yours ;)

Monday, June 22, 2009

Mid-Year Resolution

What's up with me. I've been partying like there's no tomorrow. I'm just a little disappointed, I guess. There are things that are not meant to happen even how badly you wanted it and how hard you worked for it. Now I don't want to dwell on that emotion, where you are sad. I've been there! It was dark. I don't like it.

I choose to be happy. I party. You can feel the presence of your friends. They are all happy. But I guess I went overboard. Because I've been spending too much. haha my savings, the money, my supposed relocation money, it's half gone.

Maybe I'm a little spoiled brat. Five of my friends say so. They confirmed it. Partying is my tantrums. hahaha beat that. One time I told an office-mate/friend that I wont not talk to him Monday if he wont come with us Saturday night. Imagine, we were already in his area and if he won't go out, oh!, he better must have a good reason! I'm glad he made it.

Another friend, rushed to fix himself because I'm already outside waiting for him without prior notice. It's my forte. I love it spontaneous. Thanks eye_spy for bearing with me.

So blame my brothers and sisters. I was their baby. Well, I'm still!

But seriously, I'm not bratty. I don't always get what I want. Anyway, what's wrong with getting what you want when I always share. That's another point.

The point here is, July is no party month. Will I last? Let me enumerate the pros. no cons. This is for the good.

1. Save. At a weekend night gimmick I spend an average of 1500 php. There are four weekends in a month so that is a sum of 6000 php. That's already 1 pair of PabDer shoe and a top at People are People. Okay focus... Save.

2. A bottle of beer has how many calories? I need to watch my weight. I hate it when my dates say they like me because I'm chubby. which happened again last week. Come on guys don't be mean I'm no longer eating. I'm not fat. Four weeks with no drinking that's a lot of calories.

3. I don't want to bug my friends. If they don't want to party then I guess its fine. Now that I will not be partying in July then no one will bug them.

4. There must be other ways of being happy.

5. Most good guys don't hang out in a bar!


My best friend made it. Now he is a Stepford wife. I missed partying with you bestie but now I'm joining you in your endeavor!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Taking A Bow

Here I am again in the middle of an intersection. Contemplating which road to take. It seems all access are dead end. How I wish I can hover and see which path to take. But we can never cheat life, or can we?

My Manila dream is fading. I always make things happen. But for some reason I don't know what but some things are keeping me from moving out to Manila. Are these signs warning me not to take that road?

So I guess I'm bound to stay here in Cebu. I'm grateful for whatever blessings that came and for the things to come. So let me count them.

- I'm happy to be with my parents who are so loving and I thank my mom for the delicious food she serves everyday. Chili crab can make my day!

- My brothers and sisters who spoil me with what I want. Sis, I think I need a week vacation to Singapore. Can you pay the air fare again please? By the way, I need another bottle of Hugo Boss.

- My nephews and nieces who never failed to melt my heart as they plea.

- To my cousin, yes I'm thinking about your invitation. Let my fly to Hongkong if you keep your promise that you will let me stay in your pad!

- I'm grateful for my friends who are ever supportive of my plans. My friends who are so ever ready when I need them to share both my pains and joy. Never ending Saturday night gimmicks. My crying like a river moments. cam whoring. island hopping. out of town trips. long joy rides. pigging moments like its the last day of the world. overflowing alcohol.

- to my mentors who never gave up. Who continue to believe in what I can do. Let me compose myself and I will try again.

Again, Manila is just 45 minutes away from the airport. I can always visit there anytime or I will wait when Cebu Pacific offers seat sale. Let me take a bow for this dream before it stresses me. Its not for me to live.

Who wants to go shopping with me this weekend? I need new pairs of shoes.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

It was fun being lost!

My Manila trip was a blast. Although it was short but it was the longest 48 hours ever... Yeah I was sleepless even the bed at Sofitel looks inviting. But the city has a lot to offer even at 3am...

My flight from Cebu was supposed to be 6:40am... Cebu Pacific was 30 minutes early. I was surprised that it made me kept checking my flight details. Oh yes.. that was my plane.

I arrived early in Manila. There was a long queue for the yellow cab. My friend was eagerly waiting in Diamond Hotel so I took the line that was less taken. It cost me a fortune for a very short distance. But I didn't mind because I wanted to have fun.. The cabby driver stared at me with curiosity. Then asked me if I knew that Diamond Hotel is a five star hotel... I simply answered him, "I didn't and your business is to take me there!" Thanks for the doubt and yes I can afford it...


When I arrived, I realized it was not a five star hotel as mentioned by the cabby driver. Yeah its a nice hotel facing Manila Bay. I think it was just a three star... i may be wrong though... One thing am sure Shang is way way way better. Their breakfast was good though especially the crispy bacon. All courtesy to my friend.

By noon we transferred to Sofitel to be closer to Mall of Asia. We had VIP tickets to the PCD concert. The girls were great but I did not expect it was an open field. I'm just used to sure seats kind of concert. Left of me was a pretty girl to realize it was Francine Prieto. No wonder she looked familiar, I've seen her on TV.

I was on my way to Fort Bonifacio noon that day. I learned to take LRT and MRT because no cab would take me from Malate area to Fort Bonifacio. Often times, I got the wrong lane. So i had to go down, crossed the highway and climbed to the other side of the station.

What can I say to their sky-walk in powder pink and blue color... It needs a cover to call it covered-walk. Mainit! Other than that I had fun. It was great people walking fast to get to their destination.. I like that.

The moment I entered Fort Bonifacio I said to myself that I belong here! I have to work here. I had an appointment at 3pm. I arrived two hours early since I took MRT. I alighted at Buendia station and took a cab going to Fort Bonifacio. I stayed at Gloria Jean to kill the time and to freshen up.. I prefer Starbucks but couldn't seem to find it.

When clock hit 2:30pm I went back to 30th st cor 4th ave for my interview. I waited and waited... 20 mins had passed for my interview so I approached the receptionist to ask what's the hold up. and she told me to wait. So I went back to my seat and patiently counted sheep hoping I would not fall asleep. An hour and a half have passed I didn't hear my name got called. I have to be done by 5:30pm so I wouldn't be caught in the traffic so I could go back to my hotel to change for the concert. Times up I couldn't wait any longer... So i went down and walked away an interview of a lifetime...

I don't know if there was a mis-communication. But I don't think so because I received a reminder message from the interviewer the night before. Or maybe we have a different definition of what the word an appointment is. If that's how they treat their applicants I wonder how they treat their agents... Anyhow I contacted them to have my interview rescheduled..

On my way back, I cant believe a cabby driver asked my to alight in the middle of a highway. He refused to go to Glorrieta because he might be stuck in the traffic. So there I was in the middle of overlapping roads... in a big city and in a middle of I don't know where! For 15 mins my world stopped, I kept asking myself where I am and how to go back to the hotel. all the cabs that passed by are either taken or refused to bring me to my hotel cause its still quite far... So I walked until I saw Ayala Station! MRT saved my day! I went south to Taft Ave took a cab to CCP complex then to Sofitel.

It was fun being lost!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Alright Guys I Need Directions

1. How to get to The Fort from the airport?

I have made my research. Tell me if its right. If I want to ride MRT3, from Taft Ave to Ayala Ave/Buendia Ave. Then ride a cab to The Fort area? 4th ave cor 30th ave is the address... If I take cab from the airport.. how far is it?


2. Hows the traffic during 1pm to 3pm? In malate area... Makati area and The Fort Area... I still dont know my Hotel yet is...


3. If I leave The Fort by 5:30pm will I get to Mall of Asia before 7:00pm? Will the traffic be heavy that time? What's the best way? is it by cab? heheheheh

Need help...

Sunday, June 7, 2009

what the!

Just when you have fun....

Your ex decided to show up....

what a bull?!

But when your crush comes to the rescue...

everything is okay.

I just laughed at him when he puked in public... hahaha

he is ruined!

random thoughts

1. I noticed that most guys in my floor at work don't wash their hands after using the toilet. Come on guys stop spreading your virus.

2. When being mean is no longer funny. A friend of mine is playing bitching games with me. it's hard to trust people these days. just wait until I turn my back on you. I will show no mercy!

3. Night at the Museum was not that bad as I thought. I had a good laugh.

4. I have porridge for two weeks now. My tummy still aches with solids.

5. what am I doing with my PC on a Saturday night...


got to go... somebody just texted... party!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

VIP

I just purchased a plane ticket online going to Manila...

It was very impulsive of me... I know I have other priorities...

But I just can't say no to a dear friend who bought VIP tickets to the Doll Domination...

Oh Yes going to Manila for the Pussycat Dolls concert this June 11, 2009

Its free for me...

I love my friends....

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Premonition

I'm glad my premonition is wrong again. I'm a weirdo!

All of a sudden this guy's name popped in my head and its been going on for several weeks now. I tried to ignore it because I thought it will just stop but it didn't. It became very disturbing even at my sleep. it was vague but I know something is wrong!

He used to be my classmate in high-school and very shy-silent type of guy. I dont know why him of all people. I never had close encounter with him and we are not even close friends. We were merely hi-hello. So why me and what's the message?

I tried googling his name to find his whereabouts but nothing came up. checked with facebook, multiply and friendster. the same thing... NADA

So I posted a bulletin in friendster to help me find him. A friend of mine from Canada remembered him and he is on his friends list. He is now in Manila attending school at ICC. Wow he has grown, he used to be very skinny. He plays basketball, I dont reckon him playing ball back then. People really change and he loves to cook too.

whatever that was I'm glad he is okay.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Poll: True or False

The only person who can mend your heart is the one who broke it?!

recipe

Mom and I normally spend time together in the kitchen. We pretend to be Iron Chefs. It is a good time for us to talk about issues and decisions that made her who she is today and what I will become in the future. Talk things over cup of coffee (oh yeah we are coffee addicts) while we also prepare a sumptuous dinner. I have always been interested in cooking and from whom should I get the best tips - yeah from my mom and she makes wonders!

It was many years in the past that both of us didn't agree a lot. I was younger back then and my ideas were far-fetched from reality. I think misunderstanding within family relationship is normal.

I am glad that things are okay now between us. I have learned to appreciate the things that she do. And she is becoming to be more comfortable with the decisions I made. I have proved myself to be trust worthy.

I will surely miss these bonding moments. Happy Mother's Day! I know I'm a week late.. hahah

For tonight my recipe is:

Gambas (courtesy of PinoyRecipe.NET)

Gambas Recipe Ingredients:

  • 1 kg (2lb) medium prawns, peeled (heads, tails and shells discarded)
  • Juices of 3-4 calamansi
  • 1/4 cup olive oil
  • Cloves of 1 hole head of garlic, peeled and crushed
  • Dash Tabasco (or other hot pepper sauce)
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • Parsley, to garnish (optional)
  • Sliced green chili, to garnish (optional)
Gambas Recipe Cooking Instructions:
  • Marinate peeled prawns in calamansi juice for about 30 mins.

  • Heat oil in a frying pan or wok and sauté garlic until almost brown.

  • Add prawns and stir fry until fully cooked, about 2 to 3 mins. Do not overcook.

  • Season with hot pepper sauce and salt and pepper to taste. Transfer prawns to a serving dish together with the garlic. If desired, garnish with parsley and chili.

PLAN A

I received a text message from a friend. Somehow I agree to it. It goes like this:

" if PLAN A doesn't work out... don't worry... you've got 25 more letters.. don't give up easily!"

I have said my piece at work that I'm leaving soon. It saddened to most people especially my friends. Except for my supervisor who told me that I will regret my decision.
Clearly she doesn't know me well... I am not the type who regret doing things. I have been to hell, got broke and back. I never regretted the poor decisions I made. Those were decisions that were impulsively made because of emotion overload. Newsflash; I'm still alive.


I'm really working on about being impulsive. So with this big plan that I'm about to take; I list some pros and cons. I've better be prepared before going to a battle. My supervisor commented that quitters are losers. I replied to her that I'm not quitting I'm just changing my battlefield! and she shut her mouth.

Here are some pros and cons about transferring to Makati:

Pros
- I will have a chance to start all over again. No one knows me and they will know me on my works and not subjectively.
- Maturity level increases about 10 more times when you are independent. You'll learn how to budget your money and decide on your own without the influence of my parents, elder brothers and sisters and close friends.
- I will have the chance to know myself better. We have to be lost to find ourselves.
- learn new skills at work. I'm currently on my comfort zone. It scares me that I will not grow because of the routine. Seems like there nothing more to learn. Come to think of it, its my first job.
- Makati is just 45 minute away by plane. I can visit my parents like on a weekend. compared to going to Singapore or Canada.
- living my dream; I've always want to study in a big university. Perhaps when everything is well I can go back to school and finish my masters program.


Cons
- Makati is more expensive than Cebu. Plus I will be paying rents. isn't part of the 'budget you money wisely' challenge?
- I don't know anyone in Makati not a relative nor a close friend. I will be a complete stranger. I'm friendly so I think that will be easy!
- Language barrier. I can hardly speak my own language now I have to learn Tagalog.
- Most people say Tagalogs have superiority complex. I'm not sure about it, I haven't dealt with them. But I have superiority complex too and star complex to add to it.
- party is more crazy than in Cebu; I made a deal to my self that I'm going to Makati to work and not to party.


so there, two months and two weeks more or could be less...

In all fairness to my supervisor, she is actually a friend but I just don't like her as my supervisor. She cant seem to separate her two roles. So tell me what other things I need to be scared to live in Makati?

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Les 25 choses à mon sujet...

It's Never Too Late To Start Again

"Look at Nature
Nothing stays the same
Why should you?
Use change wisely
Like a sporting champion, change a losing game
Keep the things that matter
Lose the things that don't
Set some goals
Start afresh"


what good way to start again is:

Les 25 choses à mon sujet...


1. Although I graduated as a civil engineer with a GPA of 1.75 and a plastic card holder (which I have never used yet and I am paying a yearly tax), I work as one of the voices behind the 1-800 number. I have been saying 'thank you for calling and have a great day!' for almost six years now on the same company.

2. I have tendencies to be mean! However am a very loyal friend. Knock my door at midnight and I would take that shovel to dig the grave of an enemy you just killed.

3. I love shoes. The ones that are not made in China and claimed they are Italians. I like them light and comfortable. No snake leather for me, never!

4. I love coffee. Starbucks. I even bought my own coffee maker to share it with my parents. They love coffee too. Our blood is a mixture of hemoglobin and coffee. I can consume more than 3 cups in a day. Wanna grab a cup?

5. I love to cook for someone. Gourmet Ala Quick-Fire. wanna try?

6. I love crabs. Okay any crustaceans will do especially crabs. Love them spicy!

7. A Beach bum! I just learned skim boarding.

8. I am allergic to ants. A sting of an ant could kill me. The allergic reaction is called Anaphylaxis. It can occur to 1% of people stung by ants. Lucky me, right. Feels like winning in the lottery. So, no eating in my room. No whip cream during sex in my bed.

9. I am fond of eau de toilette. My personal favorites are Hugo Boss Army, Ralph Lauren Polo Sport, Polo Black Cologne by Ralph Lauren, Lacoste Pour Homme and Bvulgari Aqua. Wow that's a long list! and yeah they are generic. At least now you know what to give for my Birthday (March 13)

10. I am a tech blond! What is Java Scripting? who cares right? Whatever!

11. I can speak Cebuano, English (American and Australian), French and Parcel Tongue. I am now learning Tagalog and It's hard. My accent is really stiff! I sound funny I think. I will be relocating in Manila soon so I need to practice hard. One time I went to Baguio for a vacation, I met a Britt guy who can fluently speak Tagalog. It was embarrassing for me because he was good and his accent didn't sound funny!

12. I am an alcoholic! Tagay bai! cheers! à la votre! The spirits that I like are Jägermeister, Jose Cuervo, Absinthe, Absolut and Chivas Regal. I also like RH, stands for red horse. I passed out uhm less than five times and really made a fool of myself. I fell off the ledge, hugged my toilet bowl and woke up with an office mate butt naked in my brother's bed. Its not going to happen again...

13. I'm a dragon. Marlboro Gold is my brand of cigarette. Somehow, I don't have enough reason to quit yet.

14. I asked my friends to describe me, they said I'm naughty, promiscuous and complicated! huh? I don't know where are these coming from? I am not...

15. I am always mistaken as a snob when I'm just really shy! seriously!

16. I'm not fanatic. One time my friend was jumping and giggling like she was about to get a heart attack only she was like smiling ears to ears. She looked possessed. She was screaming on top of her lungs I thought she'd seen a ghost. I needed to see a doctor because it was deafening. Jake Cuenca passed by. I was like inches away and I didn't recognize him. But I admit I'm crazy about One More Chance; it made me cry. Tanging Ina made me laugh out loud. Hilarious! How silly is that?

17. I love to sing but my friends they always beg me if I can just dance instead. No further details.

18. Many people think I am a high maintenance person... Really I am just a simple person. who like simples things. I'm not even interested with jewels and other body accessories.

19. I don't like tattoo but I like to have my tongue pierce. One day when my job requires less talking.

20. I use knife and fork.

21. I don't J-walk.

22. Orange color makes my skin looks like a disease. I envy people who looks good in t-shirt. I love costume parties

23. I collect key chains with names of places printed on it. The farthest I have is Austria.

24. I am an impulsive buyer. but I'm doing something about it.

25. I am a bad liar! So, be the judge...

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

This is me signing off...

I dont know how to start it...

I cant seem to sort the words in my mind...

All I want to say is...

Thank you and goodbye...

Sunday, May 3, 2009

of waiting part 2

10AM

I realized my friends were not busy at all for me.. So we watched wolverine together... then grab some alcohol last night....


I was about to send an sms my QA supervisor that I couldn't make it to his b-day party when a friend of mine informed me that they had an accident...


The car crashed... went turned turtle... am supposed to be on that car too... I dont know the details yet... hopefully they are okay...

Saturday, May 2, 2009

of waiting

5:20AM

My friends are kinda busy these days with their normal lives. I can't bug them always like to go out or something. That's what I hate being single. Anyway, it's not the issue here.

My QA supervisor invited me for an out of town trip last Thursday to celebrate his birthday. I kinda say yes to him that I'm going... together with some officemates. It's gonna be another lets-morning-the-night drinking session... Oh yeah am an alcoholic..

Road trip will be happening at 2PM today. I haven't packed my bag and am still at work till 12 noon. I dont know why I'm not so excited... part of me wants to go... AND

part of me... uhm...

I'm actually having second thoughts about this out-of-town-/slash/-road-trip...

Because I'm waiting for this someone...

and for the love of ----

"call me or text me, where you are and what are your plans for tonight"

I'm actually waiting for this guy to ask me out tonight to watch Wolverine... oh yeah I love X-Men

I'm waiting in vain...

"and damned it! You six more hours left..."

Or i'l be on the road with my skimboard, beer and chicharong bulaklak...

I normally dont do the asking... its NOT me... and I wont change... not even for this intance... .

So I will wait...

"...or Forever Hold Your Silence"

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Angel sent

Have you have this feeling that you are being watched? Or

Somehow, someone taps your thoughts. And

Reads your mind... Scary.

I guess its from too much watching TV...

I secretly am watching CHARMED in my room...

What can I say, Chris H. (Drew Fuller) from season 6 is really a cutee...

Anyhow...


Whenever I'm in pensive mood..

with my cup of coffee and a cigarette...

about the future... failures... love... just about anything

what needs to be done.... what's not to do...

whenever I'm on that moment...


What's weird is...

The next thing I know... I'm reading about it...

A stranger writes about it... Letting me know I'm not the only one experiencing it...

Feels like the message is address directly to me...

someone assures that whatever hell I'm going through right now... I can handle it... and that I'l be fine...

whenever I have a question... someone answers it...

I receive surprise calls from friends... distant friends...

I'm grateful... really I am... but

how'd they know...

angel sent?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Letter to my mom

Dear Mom,


Thank you for the good food. However, please dont feed me camote during working days. It is very inconvenient! This is my fourth visit to the John's.


Sincerely,

R

PS

I love camote paired with butter.. hehehe

Monday, April 20, 2009

Random Thoughts

1. I can't decide what to buy among PSP, digital cam or an Ipod. Love to have the three...

2. Lingering the moment when I finally learned how to skim board. That was last weekend and I had fun.

3. I love my best friend; he bought me my Starbucks' clear venti-size Frappuccino tumbler, the one with a straw. Somehow they always run out of it.

4. My masseur made me laugh out loud during the massage and somehow it relieved the stress. Bet it was emotional stress than muscle pain.

5. It's just another manic Monday... NOT! I feel fine that is unusual for first day of work.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

A Cup in Hand - Lets Talk

A cup of coffee starts my day.
I always take time like about 2 hours before my shift to stay at Bo's for my hot coffee mocha.
I love Starbucks really but we don't have Starbucks in our building, sad to say.
Light a couple of sticks of cigarette.
Somehow warms up my day or should I say night since am on a night shift.
Life of a typical call center agent.

Over time I have met people from different accounts.
They have the same routine as mine.
Eventually we became friends.
We love to talk about anything but work.
Aside from the fact about non-disclosure agreement, it just pukes us to talk about work.

Except for this one. She asked me why I'm leaving.
I told her it is about a lot of things.
One of them is the promotion that I had been working so hard yet I did not ace it.
I told her about how I feel and all... that I'm better than some other applicants who got the position.
Call it bitterness I don’t care anymore... Life has to go on for me and my mind is fixed about going to Manila anyway.

Here's the irony.

She got promoted. Different position from what I applied for.
It bothers her how other applicants think of her. I mean, questions about why she got the position.
These people think they are better than her and all the bitterness.. just like what I did (I think)
Seriously, why is she telling me this? when I feel the same way. Although not towards her. (remember we did not apply for the same position)
She asked for comfort and what I think about it... ( I guess that's what friends are for)

Damn she is really affected. So here's my cents about it ( I should know better I was on their shoe right)

1. When I said I'm better than some other applicants who got the job, I did not tell them on their faces that I'm better than them! Of course not. Although I have proofs that I'm way better! hahaha (can you smell bitterness) I maybe mean but that is not how I crush people hearts. It’s not cool. I sleep with their boyfriends that’s how! Hahaha. See, I can laugh about it now...

2. Told her that these people are not mad at her... They are mad at themselves and on the situation. One time she mentioned that her enemies are growing. I told her not to consider them her enemies, she'll be working with them... and that some of them might be under her. It will pass.

3. She said it's difficult to handle them. Yes indeed because they are as experienced as her. Told her to recognize their strengths more. But also make a room for improvement. No one is perfect!

4. Work with them and not against them. Although, not to the point she'll kiss their ass!. Told her "Girl, you have to remember always that you are now ahead of them." but keep your feet on the ground.

5. There are agents that have attitudes.. I guess like me... Delegate tasks but not responsibility!

6. Told her it’s not their time yet. I believe in perfect timing. But my time in this company is up!. Life is a continuous learning process. Once you’re stuck in your comfort zone, learning stops as well! (I got that from my manager)

7. Read Maxwell’s books.. they are available in Fully Booked. They only cost about $500

8. There is always a good way to say bad things. Before doing PEP sessions, prepare your words. Some agent are sensitive. Don’t start a sentence with a NO! ( I can be good sometimes.. hahah)

9. I believe in Fish philosophy!

10. Enjoy the promotion! She deserves it I told her!


there... Hope you learn something... I realized that I'm good... and if this company can't see that... I'm hoping that there's one out there who can!

By the way, S, thank you for the cup of coffee and congratulations. I'm happy for you.... Seriously!

Bar Fights

I find bar fights amusing. I know.. I know, I'm weird and all. It highlights the party. I have a fair share of experiences... not that I started them. Most of the time I am cool headed even under the influence of alcohol.

Its fun to look at people loses their minds. Intoxicated by too much alcohol. It's a good entertainment seeing those fools. Wrestle in the dance floor. fist fights. Shout on top of their lungs and exchange mean words. Making the F-you and F-you back signs with matching wacky faces.

Thank gawd none of them end up dead though... I'm not interested to witness blood scattered all over the floor...with a broken forehead. Nor a knife struck on someone's beer belly. I would faint on the smell of a blood. Rustic.

Some scenes are like couples fighting. It's an average show and it's embarrassing. Others are like long time enemies and they’ve seen each other in the bar. There's this girlfriend snatching scene; note: guys blame your girlfriends because they are flirt. Men only take baits made by your tease girlfriends. What's scary is gang fights... especially that one that involves guns...

Most of the time the reasons were shallow. Guys got mad for brushing shoulders. first of all you are in a crowded bar. so what's the fuss?! Some guys have seen their girlfriend dancing with another guy. for all you know, the guy was an old friend. A glass of beer was accidentally poured on your face. take off your shirt, wipe your face and everyone will praise your gorgeous body. isn't that cool?

There's one on one or two on one. What's pitiful is a gang on one.

I just laugh at my own experiences. I'm cool and mostly sane. Good thing nothing major happened.. just a few stitches.. kidding. okay, there were slight cuts. One time I went to Baguio for the Panagbenga. Three empty bottles of San Mig light landed on my feet... as to who threw them.. I have no clue. When the first two bottles were thrown, I ignored them. When the third bottle happened, I left the place and went back to my hotel. see I'm not hot tempered. I went home the following day.

One time I went to Halo bar, which has just re-opened. I ended up in Waterfront not the hotel but Waterfront Police Station... hahaha.. it was really humiliating inside that police car. Nothing really happened to me, my friend got all the bruises.

at a different bar, there were about seven guys ganged on me. I got scared naturally.. they kept pushing me (I can still remember the music that was playing, it was Push the Button) until I got cornered. I hate friends that time because they just left.. The guys were hip-hop type with the baggy pants and all the bling-bling. they really look stupid! and trying hard to sound Californian with their local accent... trying to be cool... they looked like chiwawa barking at me... I mean they were ugly and short dressed in oversized clothing.. They left me when they realized I would not fight back and told them they got the wrong person.

Thank gawd I still have complete set of ribs. The only injuries I got from clubs were cigarette burns.. ice cube flying on the air... someone bit me (the hell I don’t know why).. arm bruises.. you know when bar gets crowded people just grab you... and I trip from the ledge, oh yes! i was younger back then and very drunk when it happened.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Running

I was a good runner. When I was a kid I won first place for the 100 meter dash in our school. Boy, I was fast as Flash. Although, I was really a fan of Spiderman. I kind of forgot my speed, you know, in m/s.

Recently, the head of our Frisbee team invited me to join them. One time he saw how fast I run during one of our team buildings. I remembered we were playing "Japanese games" that night, I was intoxicated but I beat their asses. They were surprised because I'm not that athletic. I don’t have a body of a god, besides I smoke. It was a wonder where I got my endurance.

I even bought a running shoe from Nike. It cost me a fortune but its okay I love shoes. Anyhow, not that I use it for the same old drill. It is just my treadmill shoe.

Anyhow this post is not about how fast I run but how good I am at running.

One time when I was a kid I was told not to play with the match box. I was so fixated with the flame you know how it glows and all. I was playing with fire and I mean that literally. I threw a lighted stick to a can filled with paper. It burst into flame which was beyond my control. Scared as a cat I took off thinking my mom wouldn't find me. I hate belts that time, you know what I mean. According to my sister she put it off. Thank god our house was not on fire. But I was not able to escape the beating. haha

Two years ago when my relationship finally ended, I remembered I walked out from the bar. I was about to burst. I run away the farthest my car could take me. The following weekend I bought a ticket to Bohol. I just couldn't stay in Cebu. I also went to Dumaguete the week after all by myself. I took a bus down south. I was happier being alone than to party in Cebu City and was reminded of all the places my ex and I went. It didn't stop there I took another bus going to north this time. The goal was not to stay in the city so I kept running.

Somehow running eases tension in my mind. It helps me to be calm so that eventually I can think. When something is bothering me I just grab my running shoes and hit the slope. (I'm from the hills, haha) It releases negative energy. While I’m running, I feel free.

Dear Bestie,

Sorry if I have to leave you. I will miss you too. I know that running from my problems is not a solution. I would like to let you know that I'm not running away this time. I know I'm crazy and unpredictable. I'm done holding on and it’s beyond fixing already. So I'm letting go. Anyhow, it’s never too late to start over. Take care of your boyfriend. I will take care of my life.

PS
I'm not giving you my running shoe. haha

Still Stiving to be Good

It’s getting darker. The sky is covered with dark clouds. I can barely see the stars. The moon was up. Half. Partly covered with clouds.

The only light is from the lamp post. It is yellow. Faint.
The streets are empty. not a single vehicle.
I can only count the people that pass by. Strangers. walking fast.

The silence is becoming deafening. I can only hear my breathing.
I puff the last of my cigarette. Even its glow is dying.


I start to walk. In the middle street. the place is deserted.
no chance of being crashed by a speeding car.

Then I halt... to see the stop light. turn from green to yellow then to red..
green. yellow. red... it changes color at the beating of my heart..

Which road to take? I check my back to see my wings. It has not grown back..
wish I can hover to see what's ahead.

This labyrinth is killing me. Depressing. Black. But I run out of tears to cry already.

... when will this sadness be gone...

Saturday, April 11, 2009

cost cutting - my jeepney experience

I decided to take a jeepney today... One of my crazy cost cutting measures just to save money for my Big Plan.

So I woke up early so that I wouldn't be late for work. I could get lost you know. As if! haha My clock said 3:00AM. It was too early for a 6:00AM shift. Normally, it would only take about 30 minutes.

Riding jeepneys at this hour could be scarier. The streets were still empty. I mean there a few people roaming around, strangers some where my neighbors. As I walked my way to the main street, I realized today is a holiday. Not that I don’t have a work... cause I follow US holidays. Number of jeepneys is lesser than normal which is already less for this hour. Does that make sense?

Just as I arrived at the waiting shed, the first jeepney just took off. Just my luck! Ok fine, I had to wait for the next one, which came 10 minutes after. While waiting, cabs were very tempting. No... Its a jeepney day today I said to myself.

The jeepney was over loaded. As in, it was full packed. So, I squeezed myself in. What I hate about riding jeepneys early in the morning is the stinking breath of the passengers. Gawd! While you are so dressed up for work, some people just don’t brush their teeth nor take a quick shower. I swear I could smell their stinking bed. (Yeah that was I being mean! hahaha)

In all fairness to these early birds, they are hard working. I mean waking up early to go to Carbon market or Pasil (Fish Market) for the day’s income and all. So I just shut up. I didn’t want them to notice me as someone maarte so I acted as calm as possible. Then, I realized I took the wrong jeepney. Nice luck to start the day!

So I alighted. I waited for 15 minutes. No jeepney. I started to lose my patience. My mind was battling to take a cab. Cabs were really inviting... No cab for today I continuously said to myself... It is a jeepney day!

I decided to take a different route. So I walked 2 blocks from Colon to San Carlos. I felt sweat started to stream at my back already. I hate jeepneys. I really do. Then, I had to wait again.

Another 10 minutes passed. I was about to give up and decided to take the next cab that will pass by when a jeepney arrived. It was full. Worried that I will be late for work, I got in. No seats. Not even an extension seat. Not to make fuzz out of it or be sissy for that matter, I decided to cling like a monkey with all the wind and dust in the world... worse than blow drier..

Hey, I almost forgot... in the eyes of those people, I’m straight. So I acted like one. I faked it but seriously, I was damned scared that I would fall... haha! But I have done it before though... back in college.. a lot of times.. for the heck of it... hahaha

I loosen my grip... I would not want the guy beside me to take a hint... I'm no sissy! haha
Good thing none of them were cute... or l would be distracted. Another good thing, straight guys don’t have radar! They are clueless. Damn clueless. Haha!

As I waited for the next jeepney to my last stop, it started to drizzle. Good grief! The last thing I wanted happen is to go to work soaking wet!

When I arrived, I thought I deserve a warm cup of coffee! Then the rain poured heavily! Too bad we don’t have Starbucks in our building. And Bo’s coffee was closed for the holiday. Mc Donald’s will do... Sorry guys I’m not ready to cost cut my coffee yet! Hahahaha

More cost cutting tips coming....

Friday, April 10, 2009

so called Barkada...

I have been with several group friends. I think its just part of growing up. But like most bands,
even the most popular ones are disbanded even at the height of their career say for example Spice Girls and N’sync. (note: this is just an example, I’m not into bands)

Back in high school, I was lucky to be part of the popular group. Well, I don’t really need luck because I’m born to stand out anyway (proven and tested… although, lately I kind of shun the limelight). I said lucky because I was a transferee. I guess it is but a normal to feel scared to be part of a new pride.

The Click. It was a mix group gifted with beauty and brains. Most kids thought I was a snob. Okay, okay, okay… I’m maybe because I chose friends. So I let them.

I was a math wizard. My brothers and sisters are all engineers that explain why. But not the geeky type though, you know the type that is slim, with lousy over sized shirt with bushy uncombed hair and to match everything, who wears thick glasses? Definitely, not me! I was a classic dresser not the flashy type, nor the trendy one. I was simple with a good posture.

They say if you can’t beat them, join them, right? They sensed that I was cool and they couldn’t seem to beat me. So they invited me to one of their Saturday meet ups. Instantly we clicked! See, I didn’t have to work my way in really hard like those loser neophytes who beat their ass to be included.

Then, we were known as ruthless. I guess, by ignoring those dirty rats made us ruthless already! We didn’t intentionally hurt schoolmates like those in over-rated high school drama movies; I think they were just innately stupid.

Fast forward >>> we graduated… parted ways…

We are still good friends… we meet once a month for a good dinner… we have a doctor, a lawyer, an accountant and I became an engineer!

Then I started with this call center industry that am currently working, I've been with lot of groups but then again got disbanded… People just leave… Friends come and go… There was this Breakfast Club. Most of them left to Singapore.

There was also the famous KRIMINALS. Some people feared us. Some called us untouchables… The hell I don’t know…I mean the deal with people with inferiority complex... I guess because of our strong personalities. We just bonded really although no outsiders allowed. However, eventually, we parted.

My latest coven… the so-called DIVAS

Over time, our friendship has been tested. Oh yes we had cat fights, backstabbing and claws scratching. We may have different personalities and views in life but we clicked. We are bonded as hard as glue. And with all the turmoil we remain friends.

Four gorgeous Divas, who can walk the walk and I mean that literally. Watched us walk that runway, shoulder to shoulder, like goddesses we glide. Time will stop to watch us. Okay I’m exaggerating. We are not really the seductresses from hell who can lure all the guys in the bar or that plastic group cliché from high school. But when we are together:

“We party like a rock star, look like movie stars, play like all-star, fuck like porn stars, oh baby, we are your Superstars”

We are Ms Bitch, Ms Promiscuous, Ms Pretentious and yours truly Ms Mean.

Mean? How did I become Mean? I’m not mean… Okay sometimes…

---
PS1

I lost my chain of thoughts... Part 2 ko na lang... I'm tired...

PS2...

Sounds too gay... oh well the art of creative writing...

PS3

May art ba talaga? also hindi rin cya creative... let me think

PS4

I am MEAN! bwahahahha

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I dont like to hear when people say "good luck" to me.... Not that I don't need it... coz I really, really and badly need it...

It just scares the hell out of me to hear that... it sounded like a warning of something bad will happen.. I know I'm twisted and I have my own interpretation of that phrase... really.. it just sounds scary...


To be in a strange land where I dont know a soul... to be out of my comfort zone... to be far from family and friends...

to move out from my room... I love my room... its big and warm and cozy... I can stay in my room doing nothing in one whole day...

no one will cook for me... I think that's why we invented instant noodles...

no more mama who will wash my clothes for me... I guess that's why laudry shop business is booming..

no more car... I will surely miss it... I'm poor in navigation anyway... I'l end up lost.. get caught... and what's that? is it number coding

there's a lot of things to give up... just for one thing...


Oh yeah... why dont I have a relative in Manila... that's wonder!

I think I'm the only one who has the interest to actually live there...

I said to myself before, I could never imagine living outside Cebu...

But I have never been so sure! I would fly in a heartbeat...

I've been out of the country... however I was there for vacation only though..

Singapore for instance...

but not really live there... just for a few days...



I even asked my brother if he has friends in Manila where I can stay for a while until I find my own flat.. NADA..

How disappointing... But I'm not giving up... I can find someone... There must be someone... an old friend... a classmate... an old office mate...

I have even asked my in laws if they know someone... sad to say most of them are far from Makati..

For a starter.. I need to live near my work place...


that's the plan...

near my work place? which reminds me I have not applied to any possible companies yet? bummer! heheh

In nearly 60 days I will be submitting my quit letter! let's see



Anyhow... I have told a few of my friends that I'm quitting my job.

My mom even gave her my blessings... after all a long period of persuasion...

I think she finally felt it... like almost everyday now... I just don't want to go to work...

I dont have the energy... I dont have the attitude... I have lost my drive... my stat is way, way down

I love my job... yes that is true... seriously!

I never thought I'd come to this stage...you know that feeling... when you wake you just dont feel like going to work...

But yes... its happening now.. how strange...


wow... how many stories have I posted about this already...

Just really excited...

actually, the reason why I posted this because I rather want to hear some other phrases like "take care", "you will be missed", "keep in touch" and all

Honestly...I'm really scared to go... but I want to go anyway... and To hear "good luck" really adds to the anxiety... twisted I know

Sunday, April 5, 2009

haunting memory

It took me a week to finish this... first, the interenet in the office sucks... I think management found out about our access and ban my page.. bohoo! Secondly, my connection at home has been cut so I end up doing this in a cafe.... For a Saturday night am at a cafe!?... beat that! what a bore... Lastly.. I'm making sure I will not be misinterepreted... The hell anyway...

---
I was doing random reading with some posts and I got stunned with this line. It was a comment on one of Max's posts; The Horny Bum.

"....but he just wants to see what he wants to see in max or what he thinks is an ideal picture of him."

I just froze.

Then at a flash...

It hit me..

It was more of an alarm...

Ever since my heart shattered into pieces two years ago..

I kinda have attached a warning device to my heart to protect it...

It sends signals and freezes all my body parts except for my brain...

So that I can think before my heart do the thinking...

To be more cautious of some unforeseen events...

I have learned my lesson... and damned... it was the hard way..



So Here I go again.

On the verge of committing the same mistake.

I'm just not ready to take that plunge... not this way though

But before I fall into a trap... a trap that I myself created...

let me back off.. before its too late...



I have read Max every single post..

It facinates me...

Max's page is somewhat enticing, I guess that's the word.

Upon reading each post... I made a picture of Max.

Based from what I have read. on who he is... what kind of guy he is...



this starts to sound cheesy.. but its not really about Max... promise.. so read along.. (peace Max)



Man, do not under estimate my imagination... I'm creative and wild... THEY clipped my wings, remember?!

Again, I have made this character of Max. A good guy (I'm not saying he is not good in person)

But to cut it short.. This guy is my ideal guy... I dont know where that came from..

I only know him from the posts that he wrote, but somehow it feels like I have known him much...

Fair. Lean. tall. neat. someone who just melts you heart... minty fresh breath..

and I like this guy. I think I'm attracted to him...



Then, suddenly after reading that line above...I just know I need to change gear to nuetral...

before it will bring me somewhere...

I'm not going back to that hell... never...

So, I made a hault before jumping into the unknown... think... think.. think...

Then I realized... the guy that has been playing in my mind...

The guy that I'm attracted to... The guy that I created... my ideal guy...

it was a picture of my ex...



The story "The Trip" that was written by Max... that inspired me to write again... It was a lovely story...

I've been thinking about that story... Re-read it a lot of times... over and over...

I'm somehow attached to it... it felt like I'm part of the story... there was a connection...

I thought it was Max... I thought I was becoming attracted to him... the thought of him...

the illusion that I made out of him...I stopped time...to ponder... to find out what's going on...

it can't be... he is too perfect... I made him perfect... no he is just an online buddy...



Like a light bulb appeared on my head... nahh.. more of touched by a white lighter..

I realized its bout my my ex... It was me and my ex on that bus...

good memories... afterall the story was about Max's ex

But why?! I'm way over him... it was two years ago... I swear I'm done with him...

I've started dating again... I know its corny as a corn field...

Is his memory haunting me? Is he not done tormenting me?

It's unfair.. He said his goodbye... I have said my goodbye too...

----

So what's really my point of posting this? I'm too drunk to think...

But I guess.. It's part of the reason why i'm leaving...

When you are already far.. I think you'll forget everything...

I will be busy thinking on how to survive in a strange land... I guess...

This has to stop becasue it's ruining everything...

What better way to start a good life is to leave everything... Starts from the scratch..

Damned it... I dont want to leave... but I have to...