i want to rant but i just could not call my best friend simply because he's tired of hearing me with this story. i even accused my best friend sleeping with this guy... which my instinct has not failed me and I have not proven it.

anyway, Mr Sunshine is back. we are at the boundary  of friendship and lovers. yes we are more than friends simply because he's my ex and we shared more intimate things. less than lovers because we are not back together. we just hang out and dine.

after he left I was kinda seeing someone a month after. but it didn't last that long too. maybe i was still in love with mr Sunshine, and Mr Nyx Assassin noticed it. I know it was unfair i said yes to Mr Nyx Assassin.

To answer your question Mr Sunshine, why I said yes to him, and why I agreed to move in with him is because he was there! when its supposed to be you!  you left me! He was there. It would have been you! I was thinking it was you. and I've said I'm sorry to Mr Nyx Assassin already and we've forgiven each other...

that was past already. the only reason he existed because you left... but i was wishing it was you..

Now you're back, can we move on and stop digging history? stop asking if i really love him? because it still you that I care.  Its still you that I love... It has always been you..

Nothing happened between me and Mr Nyx Assassin because somewhere in time, i was hoping or thinking, it was you!

He calls me, he ask how my day was, he spent his 15 min break with me for breakfast. he held my hand, he hugged me and he kissed me....

i know you were troubled when we were together.. that's past. it happened for a reason for us to learn for us to grow... can we leave the past and start living now... this is our second chance... let's nurture it!