in my own world

A Pisces can be dreamy. oh I dream a lot even when I'm wide awake. That's me, I'm the fish. We are described as imaginative. I can create from nothing into a big world. That's my fantasy world. Sometimes, while riding a bus, long distance travel, mostly coastal route I would think that I live in this big castle. It is situated in an island far from the city of course. It always interests me the view of the ocean. Feels like I just belong there. It's calling my name, as loud yet as calming as the tide drifts to the sand. Somewhere in the middle of the ocean, its welcoming me.

Yes I have a horse, a white one. I can imagine galloping in a long stretch of white sand. then take a plunge in the cold blue ocean. I would swim for hours. dive as if I have gills. flips like a dolphin. play with the old turquoise. i don't like pearls though. Jumps through the air and dive back... i could stay in the water for long.

sometime I could feel I can command the sea. Like water bending. water is my power! my imagination went overboard, i know... but this scene keeps playing and playing in this gray mass floating inside my head. this is beyond imaginary. this is mental illness! but somehow I feel comfort thinking that. Am I losing my screws and giving up the real world.

The real world seem to chaotic and harsh. They are mean and it bites. Inside my head there's ease and I'm liking i better. I think I'm getting crazy. but I want to stay there.

My love story. My knight and shining Armour. someone strong and who can save me. He intimidates me but someone he loves me. whom I could serve breakfast in bed with my own cooking freshly picked from my own garden. bathe him in a fountain. massage him with mint and rose oils. I love him for simply just being there!

I cant bear the real world. there's hatred. I'm taken for granted. rejected. pain. i think I'm losing it. I dont want to go back to the real world... In my world, I'm safe. In my world, I'm free. In my world i feel alive.