crack of dawn

I woke up early one Sunday morning. I thought this would be a good day. I searched for my cp to check the time, it was 5am. I could hear the chirping of the birds outside my window. I thought a newly brewed coffee would be a good start, pair it with toast bread and bacon. Then a warm shower. I missed 5 messages. 4 of the messages were from friends asking where I was. Saturday night parties used to be fun. I used to go out and drink tequila until the sun rises. Not that I miss holding a bottle of beer at one hand and lighting a cigarette on the other, things have change lately.

Then I read the last message. It wasn't a bad news. No one died. However, it wasn't a happy news either. I could still remember how it feel when I read the message. Everything were in slow motion. I could hear my heart beat until it burst, opened my chest, geysers of blood, moving in slow motion. I nearly broke into tears.

Tried to compose myself. i could hardly breath. Some thing wanted to escape from within. it had been captive for a long time. It was boiling ready to explode. my chest couldn't not keep it any longer... and I couldn't shout nor break things... I didn't want to make a scene.

I saw my running shoes, grabbed them and went to the hills for a run. It was a little bit cold. Morning breeze made cuts through my cheeks. My legs started to feel the pain... I nearly cried. I halted. I still couldn't shout... that thing has not escaped... I wanted it out.. I was the only one there... on the top of the hill.. but how come I couldn't let it out...

I pushed myself a little more... I could barely run... I fell on my knees then laid on my back... the sky was turning blue as the sun showed its first ray of the day. Then I started to calm down... if only life is as perfect as this morning...

He may have left without saying "goodbye"... there may be things that are not meant to happen yesterday but today is another day...