Being a leader is difficult. You have to lead by example. You see, I have not lived a perfect life and my past is the darkest.
Dark secrets like sexual fantasies.. drug abuse... back stabbing... and the likes...
Some of it am still doing... some I have considered history and I will never cross that path again...
That's what haunting me now...
Apparently, am good at keeping secrets.. keeping my records clean... having the face everybody can love and like... am proud of it... Yes I'm fake - second rate. so what... that's why I appreciate my friends so much for giving little extra effort for knowing me better... but this story is not about that....
well, am writing now because I feel guilty or paranoid maybe as my seatmate describes it... not because of those dark ones... its not really that dark act...
Outside work I know I'm still responsible of my actions.. nevertheless am still being looked up as their leader.. so I have to act like one. and that's where am struggling.. maybe a little... the partying part….
You see.. I lost weight suddenly... like in a month. I worked hard for it... from 160lb to 135 lb... I know that's a lot... as I've said I worked hard for it... I changed my diet.. more of the healthy lifestyle... no alcohol especially beer... more exercise.... went to the gym... go for the jog... all healthy...
I've tried pills before but it worked for a while but I gained weight again eventually...
my concern is that.. I may influence others... because I’m in the position… or may have influenced them already… I’m scared that they may resort to all means just to loose weight... would that be my responsibility in case something happen to them? I don’t mean for them to follow me when I share them how I did it like the healthy way... Talking about responsible leadership… that’s tough
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