Some people can't live without partners. I know some friends.. they really go gaga if they don't have boyfriends. When they change partners, it's like changing diapers. no kidding! i mean that soon?!.. Sometimes it made me asked them if what they feel is true love or is it just for the heck of it. Funny! but for me I wont settle for any less...
I guess, that's why I'm still single, eh?! I mean there's nothing wrong with being single. Only holidays makes it bad. This Christmas, just like any other christmas, I have survived! It was tough but I made my way out the next day.
These past years, we dont celebrate christmas anymore. That makes it worse. You see, I'm the only one left with my parents. My sisters are in Canada, my brothers have their own famly already. Christmas eve in our house is just any ordinary day. Except for the poor tree in front of us this year, its dimly lighted with red, green and yellow bulbs!
I just figured how ironic, you see, its just the three of us, my mom, dad and me, yet we transfered to a bigger house. My mom said, what if your brothers and sister will come home? Where will they stay... Mom always has a point... Makes it more lonely actually. Although partly, I like it because I can sleep in the morning better. It's also a perfect place for emo mood. Its quite elevated and from my terrace, I can see the city. actually, quite romantic... its too quiet that sometimes the sound of silence is sooo deafening.. it makes you crazy.... if things get worse, jumping is an option for suicide.
Surprisingly, this Christmas is different. My cousin Janice arrived from Hongkong with her husband. Oh yeah she knows what I want. She brought Feigling. It's a vodka in small shot bottles and we alternate it with a super dry italian white wine. Perfect with our roast chicken. My brothers with their families visited us too. I'm not really a fan with kids but they behaved well... they even tag their dog along... eewwww... but it was a fun. It felt like I was a kid again. Now, that's Christmas, right?! Spending with people you love most.
The next day, I received a bag of chocolates... not just a small pouch but really a BAG of Cadbury and Lindt.. yum-yum.. I can't imagine how many calories that would cost me! its Christmas sooo I gave in. My cousin Joy from New Zealand opened the door and greeted me... wow! I've had soo many surprises for the past two days... I love my cousins.. they really know what i want... I know my sisters couldn't make it this Christmas, I have send them my greetings already! Nevertheless, the joy that I felt, you know that feeling, it was taken from you.. then you have it again... then you really miss so much.. you dont want to let go of that feeling... you linger on it... but you know it will be over soon... then you'll be back to your old self..
On a serious note, people see me as walking shopping bag... shopping helps sometimes.. its a therapy... but what I really want the most and appreciate the most, is the feeling of security... there are people who loves you.. and they are called your FAMILY. I'm blessed and that's the best gift i received this year and I'm grateful.
see I dont need a boyfriend!
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