Its not you, its me...

Have you received this line or have you said this line?

I have on both. Thank god I only heard it once. That was when I was a neophyte. I can't seem to control my feelings back then and I headed for the risk anyway to ask. Like a new vampire who is careless about his attacks.

It was shit. Although, to reminisce it has become a good laugh for me being naive and all. I gathered all my strength. I couldn't describe how I felt like I wanted him badly. I was looking for word to make sure I would say it right. And at the end, I said, "Will you be my boyfriend?"

And you knew already the answer, "it's me, not you" and if you translate that to simple English it means NO. The blah blah blah.. "I'm not ready"... blah blah blah "you are a good guy, but"... STOP IT RIGHT THERE. Then weeks after he had a boyfriend. What a trip!

Saying it is easier than hearing it. It’s destruction to the ego beyond repair. Then I learned the Art of War. Of course I have improvised some of the lines.

GUY1. I drove him home. It was miles from my place, just to make him feel important. Then I kissed him. A kiss that he could not forget. The following day, I am nowhere to be found. It’s easiest not to say anything.
GUY2. I treated him to an expensive dinner. Had sex. Then movie. Sex again and more sex. He said I was the first and that he loved me. My little ego went panic and answered him "If you love me how come I did not feel it. Prove it!" Then I dismissed him.
GUY3. I met him in a bar. He was staring at me. I can’t help it, he has cutes eyes. So we had sex. I like the way he rubbed my back. Then dropped the line "Actually, I have a boyfriend, I am sorry"
GUY4. I met him online. We exchanged text messages. Then we had sex. The following day I changed my number.
GUY5. Sex. Sex. Sex. "Stop acting like you are my boyfriend coz you are not. It was just sex, so get over it."
Guy6. He is a friend of a friend. We met at a party our common friend hosted. We had sex. Then he asks for my name. I replied, "I don't have to know your name"
Guy7. Sex. "I'm leaving for Canada, I don’t know when I'm coming back"
Guy8. Coffee. "I’m busy with school, I'm sorry"
Guy9. Sex. "But my friend likes you"


Did I not mention it’s a destruction of ego beyond repair? It took 9 guys for me to just laugh about the 1st experience. You might think I'm a whore.. Really am not.. Ok I accept it.. I mean.. Sometimes out of the line... but I'm not a whore... Those 9 guys happened within a period of 5 years. Do the math and get the rate.